7 Weird Thoughts You Have While on Your Period
April 30th is National Honesty Day, which means that after you tell your parents you were the one who scratched their car all those years ago – not their neighbor – you should settle into a comfortable spot for some real talk about periods. Truth be told, you probably have some weird thoughts that float through that brilliant mind of yours once a month. Sound familiar? You also might be wondering: how the heck did we know? Well, that’s easy: because it’s not weird at all; we all have them.
To mark this occasion with an exclamation mark (not a period since that would be way too trite), we’ve compiled a list of thoughts that are so deeply honest you might think we’ve got mind-reading capabilities or something. (I mean, we can tell if you’re thinking really hard about something by the way your forehead scrunches up and your eyes get all twitchy, so maybe that counts as being psychic?)
From obsessively random and gross to hilarious and emotionally-unhinged/so-hangry-we-might-actually-hurt you-if-you’re-next-in-line-and-can’t-make-up-your-freaking-mind-at-The-Cheesecake-Factory-during-our-lunch-break, here’s the ultimate list of thoughts that plague us while on our periods. Warning: if you’re currently enjoying your magical period of menstruation, sorry (not sorry) in advance for the uncontrollable cravings and inevitable concerns about wearing light pants, which will undoubtedly ensue.
- “They say to listen to your body. Well, one giant chocolate bunny coming right up!”
Thoughts of chocolate swirls, swirling around your head? Hey, join the period party.
- “Yes, I’m crying; that snapchat of my dog was a tear-jerker. Look at how much he’s grown in four days.”
At the drop of a hat, you find yourself crying because spilt milk is sad during this time of the month, ok?!
- “Does that bird have to chirp right now? Right now?!”
Mother Nature may be boss, but can’t she give you some paid time off with the noise out there? Actually, can everyone cut you a break for that matter? Now is just not the time.
- “Do they make fanny packs with heating pads included?”
Nothing seems to be helping with those horrible cramps other than your couch and a heating pad. How can you bring that to your workplace without turning heads?
- “Did I just bleed through on ___________ (fill in the blank with desk chair, gym floor, couch etc…).”
The constant worry is a constant struggle: Did I bleed through?! This is often followed by the demand that your friend check the back of your pants for you just in case.
- “It’s like the oil on my face has a standing monthly meeting on my nose.”
Forget pizza face. Call me period face.
- “It doesn’t fit? I literally bought this yesterday.”
To-do: Google ways to style bloat.
One final thought, my friend. Remember that for every weird period thought you have, there are a handful of others floating around going through the same seven-day-ish struggle (or maybe you’re more like an 8-to-9-day flow, in which case an eighth period thought can be added to this list: Is this normal?! Everyone is different, so don’t sweat it. It’s just something to ask your OBGYN about on your next visit. Until next month!
- Posted by holx-admin
- On April 28, 2016