Sex During Periods: 9 Tips to Talk to Your Partner
Posted byMartha Garcia
You’re spotting between periods, or you were just intimate with bae and you start to bleed. It’s embarrassing, uncomfortable, it can be icky and who wants to actually talk about sex during periods, especially if your periods are abnormal?
Bleeding between periods, bleeding after sex, spotting at any time during your cycle, bleeding heavier than normal, bleeding for more days than normal, or bleeding after menopause: these are all considered abnormal uterine bleeding (AUB). AUB can happen at any age and for a variety of reasons, including PCOS, fibroids, ectopic pregnancy, cancer, endometrial hyperplasia, hormonal imbalances and more, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.1
The main thing you need to know is you’re not alone. The CDC estimates that more than 10 million women in the U.S. are affected by AUB.2
So, how can you talk to your partner about sex during your period or abnormal bleeding?
If you plan to be intimate with your partner, the topic will need to be discussed or it may pop up unexpectedly when the two of you are in the heat of the moment.
1. Inform yourself. Do some research about your symptoms. Inevitably, one of your partner’s first questions will be, “What’s going on?” You can’t help him understand if you aren’t knowledgeable about the problem yourself. Your doctor is a great resource for this type of information. If you are turning to Google for help, make sure you read trusted sites.
2. Choose the right time. Plan to talk to your partner when he’s not preoccupied with other things, like work, chilling with his friends or watching football. Don’t call him in the middle of the day while he’s focused on his job. Pick a time when you can have his full attention.
3. Be proactive. Talk to him ahead of time before the topic comes up awkwardly, like right after sex or while you two are hot and heavy. Timing is everything and picking the wrong time could freak him out.
4. Share the facts. Tell him you have a problem, but share the facts about AUB. This will help him to understand the reasons behind it.
5. Let him in. Let him know you’d like him to be a part of the discussion. AUB affects both of you, especially in the bedroom.
6. Gauge your comfort levels. Formulate a plan and clue him in, whether your plan includes meeting with the doctor, undergoing further testing, or simply talking about how you’d like to handle sex during your period. Tell your partner if you’re open to being intimate when your bleeding is off-cycle or heavy. Ask him if he’s open to it too. Many couples have sex during periods. It all depends on how comfortable you both are with the idea.
7. Ask for support. Let him know how he can be involved and supportive. Do you want him to come to doctor visits? Can he help by offering a hot water bottle for cramps or giving you your space when you have full-blown PMS? Would you prefer snuggle time or do you not want to be touched at all? These things are all a matter of personal preference. Guys don’t have the joy of experiencing periods, so it’s not likely that he’ll know what you need to be comfortable.
8. Chill out. Tell him heavy or off-cycle bleeding is nothing to be alarmed about. Overreacting will only make you feel worse.
9. Communicate. Keep the lines of communication open. This shouldn’t be a one-and-done conversation. The two of you should stay in touch about how you feel, your questions and how to support each other along the way.
Sex Health Is Part of Overall Health
Remember, your sexual health is an important part of your overall health, so it’s not a topic that can be swept under the rug.
Sexual satisfaction depends on your willingness to express what arouses you or what you’re OK with. Not talking about health issues, like AUB, that affect your relationship will not only make the situation awkward, but it may decrease your satisfaction with your sex life.
Make time for the conversation, have the conversation early on, and keep lines of communication open. If your partner has questions, make him feel comfortable to ask away, because, as they say, “There are no dumb questions.” He has no idea what’s going on with your lady parts, so be his tour guide to have a great time in the bedroom every time.
1Abnormal Uterine Bleeding. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. https://www.acog.org/-/media/For-Patients/faq095.pdf?dmc=1&ts=20161129T1450308102.
2Heavy Uterine Bleeding. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/blooddisorders/women/menorrhagia.html.
- Posted by Martha Garcia
- On February 21, 2017